GENERAL GUIDE retreats at home – SELF GUIDED
Making a conscious and intentional choice to follow a formal practice schedule and let go of your usual distractions will allow you to take care of your body, quiet your mind, and open your heart.
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At first, a self-guided retreat may seem strange or complicated, and while it does require a degree of dedication and commitment, we have designed this guide to accompany you in your intention.
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Here are some suggestions and resources, but don't consider this a rigid guide or a set program. In a self-guided retreat, you deepen your own practice, whether you are just starting to meditate or already have experience. And since it is your practice, you will know better than anyone else what works for you and what needs adjusting.
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We look forward to supporting you in your practice!
Create a container of stillness
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Going on a retreat involves spending several hours in stillness and silence, minimizing communication with others, and abstaining from news and entertainment.
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If possible, choose a space dedicated to your retreat that is pleasant and quiet.
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Try to have things on hand that you may find useful for your practice: a chair or meditation cushion, a yoga mat or blanket for mindful movement practices, water or tea.
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If you wish, you can create a sense of sacred space with objects or images that you find inspiring, flowers, pictures, candles, or objects that have special meaning for you.
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It doesn't have to be a perfect place, just quiet enough.
Decide on your schedule
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Decide in advance how much time you will devote to your self-guided retreat. Be realistic and consider your level of meditation experience and other commitments. If you are new to the practice, start slowly. We suggest starting with three hours and gradually increasing the time.
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Establish a clear structure with a predictable sequence. As a general rule, try to alternate periods of sitting meditation with walking meditation. Each period can last from 20 to 45 minutes. If your schedule is longer than three hours, we suggest including about fifteen minutes of conscious movement (gentle yoga, tai chi, qi gong, stretching, etc.).
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Here is an example of a full-day schedule you can modify to suit your needs best. ​
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Remember: be patient, especially if you are going through a difficult time.
Choose your practice
In order for your self-guided retreat to help you develop your attention skills and cultivate compassion, it is a good idea to include both mindfulness meditations and heart practices.
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You can start your retreat with a simple mindfulness of breathing practice to calm and stabilize your mind and then gradually expand your field of attention to include sounds, physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts.
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You can finish with heart practices, which help cultivate kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity toward yourself and others. These meditations will deepen your ability to hold your current situation with a more open heart and greater respect for everyone.
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In the suggested schedule, you will find links to some meditations that can serve as a guide and companion for your retreat.
Take advantage of guided meditations
Listening to and following guided meditations can be very helpful, especially when you are doing a retreat at home without the support of other people around you. A guided meditation will help you focus and guide your attention. We suggest choosing them in advance and selecting those related to your intention for the retreat. For example, you can choose from meditation on breath awareness, kindness, compassion, and mindfulness of emotions.
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At Mindfulnest, we offer a variety of guided meditations by Gaby Contreras and Eli Bravo. You can listen to them on our website or the Insight Timer app. There is also a wide variety of meditations with some of our teachers on DharmaSeed.org or Insight Timer.
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In the suggested schedule, you will find links to some meditations that can serve as a guide and companion for your retreat.
Listen to a talk
​To guide you and as part of the learning process, you can include a talk in your program to support you. Traditionally, retreats include moments when teachers share their teachings, stories, and reflections as a way to open up new possibilities. These talks usually include a period of meditation. We recommend that you choose your talk in advance and consider its length.
At Mindfulnest, we are developing an archive of our talks that will soon be available. You can also visit dharmaseed.org or the websites of our teachers, Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach, for many available options.
Considerations for walking meditation and mindful movement practices.
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Choose a place in advance for walking meditation practices if you decide to do them. It can be a hallway, a large room, a terrace, or any space that allows you to move around for approximately ten meters. You can also go out into the garden or walk around your block. Crossing streets or intersections with traffic is not recommended.
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Mindful movement practices are offered to be accessible to everyone and all body types. If you feel that something does not support your practice or is at risk of injury, you may modify or adjust the movement and pace to your comfort.
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Stand in a place where you can hear the facilitator's instructions and demonstrations on the screen (use speaker view in Zoom).
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Make sure you have enough space to stand and extend your arms up and around you without touching anything, and lie comfortably on the floor with your legs and arms extended at your sides.
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If you prefer, you can stay in your chair or on your cushion; you can even do the movements while standing. Do not perform any movements that cause you to lose your balance.
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If you use a chair to help you balance, make sure it does not have wheels and cannot be easily moved.
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If you are on a hard floor, use a yoga mat or blanket for comfort. Two mats or a mat can be helpful.
Phones and electronic devices.
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Use your electronic devices intentionally and consciously. Avoid using them throughout the retreat unless it is to connect to online sessions or to review retreat-related material, without distracting yourself with other temptations or possibilities.
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Set your cell phone and email so you will not receive calls or notifications during the retreat. You can set up an automatic reply saying that you will not be able to respond until the end of the retreat.
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To support you and the rest of the group, please close all programs except the one you are using for the retreat.
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Embrace this time as an opportunity for a digital detox. One of the transformative things that can happen with home retreats is having time to enjoy the space where you live without engaging with technology or media. This change alone will help you experience a different way of being.
Meals.
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If possible, consider making a meal plan in advance so you don't have to decide what to prepare each time.
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Consider having some meals ready before you start.
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Try to keep your meals simple and light.
Agreements with partners, family members, children, or colleagues not on retreat.
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If you live with other people, have a conversation about your time on retreat. Here are some things you might want to talk about:
-Let them know that you will be on a silent meditation retreat and kindly explain that you need their support to maintain it (low volume or use headphones for listening to music or videos, quiet common areas, etc.).
-Inform them of your retreat schedule. Post a copy in a visible place.
-Acknowledge that this will probably be unusual, or even strange, for everyone, but little by little, a rhythm that works for everyone will develop. You may want to hang a sign on your door for privacy.
-If you are doing a multi-day retreat, you can set a specific time of day to connect verbally, if necessary. -
Suggestions if you have children:
-If you have children at home, silence throughout the day may not be a realistic option. However, it can be an excellent opportunity to have conversations about the practice.
-If they are old enough, talk to your children about what you are doing and ask them for their ideas for creating a more supportive environment. Make them your allies.
-Consider your time with young children as your meditation practice. Think about choosing activities that support your awareness, such as cooking or baking, art projects, imaginative play, time in nature, storytelling, or other possibilities, rather than screen time.
-Navigating everyday life with the people you live with will be part of the retreat, and you will have the opportunity to talk about it with the facilitators as part of the practice.
Establish your intention and commitment to the practice.
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When you begin the retreat, take a few minutes to reflect on what is calling you to set aside time to deepen your practice:
Why, for whom, and what is your intention for doing this retreat?
You may want to do it for your own benefit and those around you.
You may be doing it to deepen your capacity for presence, serenity, and compassion in difficult moments.
It may be to free yourself from your fears, learn to be more kind, or contribute more to our world.
If you want and think that an object or image will help you sustain your intention, you can light a candle, choose a flower, or bring an inspiring image close to you. Place it near you for support and companionship. Additionally, to keep your intention present, you can recite it mentally or write it down on a visible piece of paper so you can remember and reaffirm it during your retreat. -
One of the common challenges of practicing at home is getting caught up in everyday life and forgetting about your formal practice. Don't give up! A good dose of commitment, self-discipline, and kindness can help you sustain your retreat.
Welcome whatever arises
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Time spent in silence and stillness allows you to feel peace but also allows many thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and other experiences to arise. This is entirely normal. Welcome all experiences, and allow the practice and community to support you. Receive them with attentive and loving awareness and add compassion for yourself and others. Soon, you will begin to trust your ability to be mindful and your good heart to hold everything, deepening your meditation and growing your wisdom and love.
With the support of instructors, talks, and various practices, you will discover that there are no good or bad experiences. Your mindfulness practice will help you relate better to each of them by recognizing that they are all temporary and part of the changing nature of reality. -
If these experiences become very intense or intolerable at any time, simply stop the practice and, if necessary, seek help from someone you trust.
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Remember that you can contact the instructors if you need to talk to them about any circumstances or experiences that require additional support.
Sample Schedule. Six-hour program.
Morning
9:00 - 9:15 Start. Set a gentle intention for your retreat.
9:15 - 9:45 Sitting meditation / Mindfulness of breathing
9:45 - 10:00 Walking meditation.
10:00 - 10:30 Sitting meditation / Mindfulness of sensations - Body scan
10:30 - 10:45 Walking meditation
10:45 - 11:15 Mindful movement – Yoga, Tai Chi, stretching, etc.
11:15 - 11:30 Walking meditation
11:30 - 12:00 Sitting meditation / Loving-kindness - Metta
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Midday break
12:00 - 1:00 p.m. Mindful lunch (in silence)
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Afternoon
1:00 - 1:15 p.m. Walking meditation
1:15 - 1:45 p.m. Sitting meditation / Mindfulness of emotions
1:45 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. Walking meditation
2:00 p.m. - 2:30 p.m. Sitting meditation / Gratitude practice
2:30 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. Closing and final reflection.
